Sunday, December 15, 2024

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

 

Tis the season for traditions and I'm going to share one from the McMurray Household with you. Every Christmas, I write a story featuring my children that I read to them just before they go off to bed on Christmas eve.  Over the years, the McMurray children have been on some wild adventures from being sucked into their favorite Christmas specials to helping Santa deliver presents while trying to evade a secret government agency. We've had a lot of fun and shared a lot of laughs along the way. Here is one such story I wrote for Christmas 2020. I hope you enjoy it!


Christmas Jumanji 

By Sean McMurray 

On a cold Christmas Eve, 

On a Germantown Street. 

The McMurray kids, 

Heard a sound they couldn’t believe.  

The ring of a bell and the beat of a drum 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Kelsey sat up in bed, 

Turned to Kaelin and said, 

“Do you hear it, too? 

Or is the noise all in my head?” 

“I hear it too,” Kae said, “The beat of a drum! 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

The girls got their brother  

And didn’t wake Mother 

They ran down the hall. 

Like the dogs looking for supper. 

“A present!” Jase cried, “The beat of a drum!”  

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Right there under the tree, 

With a bow, tied to a tee 

Was a new board game 

In white, “The Christmas Jumanji.” 

The ring of a bell and the beat of a drum 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

So unwilling to wait, 

They chose to tempt fate, 

They opened it up 

And found the instructions to play 

Kels read them aloud to the beat of a drum, 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

For those who seek to find, 

And leave their world behind, 

Roll the dice to move 

In hopes you reach the end it time. 

Without a word Jase rolled the dice and they drummed, 

 Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Words on a crystal ball, 

“Watch your step, you may fall,” 

And to their dismay, 

The carpet iced from wall to wall 

They slid and slid, their skill not aplomb, 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Until Kae rolled the dice, 

And these words thawed the ice, 

“A Black Friday Sale, 

Makes these ladies naughty not nice.” 

Then Karens appeared with clench teeth, showing their gums, 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

“That’s mine!” one Karen said, 

Then swung, but Kels ducked her head. 

She crawled through the fray, 

Then rolled the dice and the Karens dropped dead 

Then new words appeared with the beat of the drum. 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

“From a mall in Atlanta 

This creepy store Santa 

Had too much egg nog  

is drunk as a skunk and in need of Mylanta.” 

From his chair he mumbled like a crazy street bum, 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

“Come on over,” he pestered, 

Dressed in cheap polyester 

The kids said no way 

And he replied with a certain hand gesture. 

Jase took his turn and the fraud faded and grumped 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Then the loud roar of a train, 

Rattled their frames, 

The Polar Express 

Had runaway and could not be restrained! 

Kae dove for the dice, heart pounding like a drum. 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

In the Saint Nick of time, 

Kaelin let the dice fly 

The train disappeared  

And In its place, rose a mountain so high 

From the peak came a roar and the pounding of drums. 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

 

And the words that appeared, 

Made their blood cold with fear 

“Try not to stumble, 

 the Bumble is hungry and out of reindeer.  

The snow monster banged on his chest like a drum, 

 Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

  

It grabbed hold of our Jase, 

Mouthed gaped open to taste, 

But Kels told it no 

And hurled the two dice in its face! 

It let go of Jase and to the drums it succumbed.  

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

“There is still a bit more, 

With the horrors of war” 

The crystal ball read, 

Toy soldiers, cannons, guns galore.” 

The armies marched to the beat of war drums. 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Toy soldiers' sabers clashed! 

Their guns and cannons flashed! 

And little Jase man 

Crawling low in a desperate dash, 

Grabbed the dice, and threw them against the war drum. 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

A battle field quiet, 

Don’t tell elves to try it, 

Because if you do 

A protest becomes an elf riot” 

And so the ground beneath the kids’ feet thrummed, 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Broken glass, fire and noise, 

Santa’s riot police deployed, 

Not in time to halt 

The looting of his sweatshop toys. 

The flying cannisters of their tear gas drummed, 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Through the smoke, teary eyed, 

Kae refuse to be denied, 

She grabbed hold the dice 

And let them fly toward the sky, 

The riot came to a stop but with ominous drums, 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

 

“Do you kids fear the dead?”  

The game’s crystal ball said, 

“Not past, nor present,” 

A future of darkness and dread.”  

The ghost of Christmas yet to come, arrived with a drum, 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Out of the fog he loomed, 

With graves markers and tombs, 

He pointed at them, 

With skeletal finger and boomed, 

“There is no more time to get back where you’re from!” 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

From his cloak came a laugh, 

Nearly split them in half, 

“Can’t you see, young ones? 

“That you walked right into a trap?” 

“There is no escape from the sound of the drums.” 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Were his words a decree? 

An ice-cold guarantee? 

Kels thought it no way. 

She had one more roll up her sleeve 

Holding each dice, and not yet sure what would come 

Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

“All the words you have preached, 

We choose not to believe,” 

Our Kels rolled the dice, 

And smiling, said, “Jumanji!” 

The dark figured howled, beat his tomb like a drum, 

 Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

Having no more to play, 

The game faded away, 

And the McMurray kids  

crawled into bed with little to say, 

Wondering if next year they’d hear the beat of the drum. 

The Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 

 

The Da DaDA Da DaDa Da DaDa Da Dum! 


© Sean McMurray 2020





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